Fallen Kingdom - Just monster mayhem

Do you hear that? That ruffling sound ? Scratching and heaving ? Its not an Indoraptor. That is the sound of Michael Crichton turning in his grave.

Well that is what I heard, while watching the Fallen Kingdom in a theatre. With this one, the series has fully entered monster mayhem territory. Except for a few frightening scenes, its largely a forgetful affair. I guess that's good, because I really want to forget I actually watched it.

Fallen Kingdom can be summarized as a monster movie where the monsters conveniently eat up all the bad guys. And the good guys survive, with minor bruises. If you watch all the movies in in sequence, you can see how the focus of the movie moves from  discovery, to wonder, to fear and then flat-out ridiculousness . Although they came out during the summer blockbuster season, the first two movies still had a heart. The man vs nature conflict was continuously debated, the characters were relocatable, and the animals were too adorable that the audience would actually want any of them killed. That changes with the 'World' series, then the new genetically engineered hybrids are so nasty, killing them off would be just that much more better. And I think that is not what Crichton would have wanted.

The underwater opening scenes reminded me of how Titanic opened, for some reason. That 10 minute sequence in the beginning is spot on. The darkness, music and rain heightens the thrill of it. But you can still see the shoddy,lazy writing here. The bad guys could have come into the park any time of the day. Instead, they decided that the best time to pay a visit is during night, with a thunderstorm in the background. You can see that the whole point of that scene was just to get them all eaten.

But then, it falls back into really lazy writing zone. Politics, and economics and what not. By the time they are back on the island, you get a clear picture of who all will survive and who won't. What, all of a sudden the volcano on the island erupted ? Didn't the park builders do a feasibility study on that risk ? And this is all nature correcting man's mistake ? All the creatures run in the same direction ? Thats just beneath the volcano ? Amazing. Now they weaponise the creatures ? To russian mafia ? What the hell ? That scene where they try to take blood from the T-Rex ? Absolute bullshit. Whoever came up with it has to be eaten by that indoraptor.And all the creatures fit conveniently under that castle ? They have already built huge enclosures for each creature ? Including the T-Rex ? And the old man had no idea ? Shouldn't the constant construction have alerted him ? Even the old lady had no idea what was going on . And by the way, what happens to her ?

There were numerous scenes paying homages to the original movie. Clearly, they were expecting the nostalgia to kick in. Like the scene where the huge brontosaurus walks into the midst of the crew. That scene clearly refers the famous "Its a dinosaur" scene from the first.  But this time they were thoughtful enough to add the huge sound of walking, again a reference. The scene where the indoraptor opens locks. And then on entering the floor, taps twice using its middle toe. That is straight from the kitchen scene. Also the scene where the kid tries to open the doors from a computer, but fails. And then opens the wrong one. There is again a scene where Owen shuts down the power in the castle. And then the kid reboots everything and, well, it was a stupid thing to do.

But the first scary scene for me was not the dino-eaitng-human scenes. It was halfway into the movie, when it is revelead that Maisie is a perfect clone of her mother. Damn ! Didn't see that one coming. This fact is revelead to Maisie and the audience at the same time. This opens up a lot of frightening ,ethical questions. Does a cloned human have the same rights a normal human has ? Can they bring back Hammond ? :) Ok, that last one never crossed my mind, but clearly there are ethical boundaries being crossed now.

But again, the focus of the current series has moved away from wonder and awe, to fear and loathing. It is just another monster movie now. There is nothing new to add, and the series has run its course. 

The 21st Football-Acting Games

The Football-acting games is slowly and thankfully winding to its end. And what a spectacular show it was. Some of the best actors from international football teams have put up show a show, they leave actual actors in the dust ! As some might have expected, the top teams, the sure-shot winners have all been knocked out. And out there playing is a new breed of younger actors at the height of their games.

And I still don't get what the fuss is all about. For decades now, its not about how many goals a team can score. But how easily they can convince the referee of a foul play by the opposing team. How easily they can get a free-kick. Or a penalty strike. I am not a fan of the sport, but it has been hard ignoring it since 1997, when Roberto Carlos took that so-famous and un-expected goal from a free kick, 35 metres away from the post. Players have since figured out that with the newer , rounder and lighter footballs, it is better to just control it from a free kick and guide it into the box, then actually sweating it out on the field. Its a game of physics. And acting.

And while India is known for its movie industry, there seems to be a severe lack of actors on the field. While some actors have started playing cricket in the ICL, that is still cricket. India can only have a real shot at FIFA if they decide to take the acting games seriously, and focus on their craft (of acting), instead of actual sports. Or somehow come up with the money to host the games. You see, the host nation continue to receive and automatic berth.

Learn tumble diving from Neymar. Cry like Messi. And look good like that other Portugal player.

It was funny reading all the football analysis in leading Indian dailies. Young reporters giving sound advice like, this guy should have taken that side. The manager of that team chose the wrong midfielder. For a country which has never qualified for a FIFA cup, India sure has a lot of opinion about how masters should play their game.

But the games occasionally bring back memories. I was in college during the 2002 world cup. And got to observe the symptoms of football fever from close distance. The whole college was divided. Mainly into Argentina and Brazil fans. But also the occasional Portugal, or Germany fan. And as every evening, students would descend, without invitation, into homes of those who had television sets. Again, everybody had loud opinions. And it was the actors who won matches.  The dramatic dives would be laughed at during slow motion replays. How could the referee not call out that acting ?

We used to watch the match on grainy CRT televisions. It was summer, and hot and humid. And being Kerala, there were frequent power cuts. These usually resulted in a train of curses to the KSEB. There were no smart phones, so goals and movements were transmitted via short text messages to those who where travelling. I think there was some betting going on too, but I didn't see anyone losing money. After the matches, there were frequent replays, and excited news readers would relive the games through diction. And the next day, boy the next day, the newspaper would have a second round of explanation. With extra sheets for the games, football-watching-experts would dissect the match carefully, mansplaining how the match could not have ended any other way. Boys would get hold of different newspapers, and be sure to read every article essaying the matches. Sigh.

Now with only a few more games remaining, only the best actors/players are left in the game. The top contenders all being knocked out, it will be fun to watch rookies running the show. We Indians continue to watch it from the sidelines, as the greatest masters of the sport act it out.

I predict an England vs France final. :)

The BSBs are all grown up

Youtube just suggested me a new trending video, thought I would like it.

And I did. It was Jimmy Fallon and BSB performing 'I Want it that Way' with classroom toys.

I was instantly transported to the nineties again.

Over two decades later, the Backstreet Boys keep coming back. They are probably the only pop-artists from that era still releasing music and performing together, from what I hear, to sold out audiences. All grown up, with kids of their own, they can no longer be called a boy-band. It was a little painful for me watching the average 42 year olds dancing on stage. Still crying "babe, babe" into the mike like some teenager would do. But on the other hand, rock bands from the 70s are still peforming their best songs, so why not them.

In wise hindsight, its clear that they were more a product of rigorous marketing, than guys with actual talent. They could sing ,for sure. But they didn't have anything special in their voices. Somebody else wrote their songs. And somebody else produced the music. They just sang. What they had for them, was their looks. And that was what was marketed to the teenage audience of the time. I am sure everything from their costumes to make-up was planned and executed in advance. Each of the boys had a persona, a character they constantly played. Some of them played cute, while AJ and Kevin played and looked like mature ,bad guys. All the hats , and goggle and accessories, they were all part of that persona. Listening to their music, it was impossible to say who sang which part, because they all sounded the same. They played the characters of young boys in love, and that was the product.

But still, their songs have aged well, IMHO. Compared to the awful crap being released nowadays, BSB's music was slower and cleaner. It was designed for repeated radio play. This was before the internet hit us so strong, so people used to still buy music on CDs or listened to FM radio. Their music was also heavily pirated. I lost the pirated audio tape I had from their hit album Millenium. I used to wonder who in India would be sane enough to pay 125 rupees for an original disc of 7 songs, when music produced in India was selling for 30 to 50 rupees.

Over the years, I kept hearing of the band breaking up, someone going solo, but in the end they all stayed together. Some of their recent music has had a change of style ,and cannot compete with contemporary artists. A decade ago I had assumed they would disband in a few years and retire for good. And I think its high time they did retire, because again, they are  no longer boys. But it seems they still have an audience. We have aged along with them. And for us , who cannot digest conteporary hip-hop and dance music, BSB is the brand to follow.

I like it that way.

Trip to Phillip Island

 

Man, I’ve been busy. With all the work in office, calls and meetings and gym and yoga and what not, how many hours does one get for oneself ? I wonder how these Auzzies manage to do it. Now one of the reasons we had considered and decided to move here to Australia is to have fun. Enough of this ‘work yourself to death’ mentality they spread in India.  Have fun. See the world. Have some time for oneself.

So thanks to the Queen’s birthday, we got a long weekend to indulge in this time. Went on trip to Phillip island. Its a small part of the country, isolated in the sea, but now connected via bridge to Melbourne. The whole place is one big reservation basically.  Like a huge national park, for birds, animals. And maybe even trees. Theres hundreds of miles of coastline, beautifully preserved , clean of all those rubbish and eyesore usually seen on (Indian) beaches.  And the weather , don’t get me started on the weather. Even in the winter, the place gets a lot of sun, and its perfect for hiking ! Or in our case, lazily dragging feat through the sand.

The place is about 140 kms away from Melbourne, so under 2 hours of driving time. Tour operators run day services to the place, so no worries if you can’t drive. There are some hotels, but I think most people just stay on Airbnb if one needs to stay overnight. For some reason, there are huge surf shops, everyone is driving huge cars into the beach. There is a Koala reservation centre half way through, but all the one we saw were sleeping high in the trees. Also, they don’t let you hold and cuddle these creatures like they do in the zoo. The southern and western coasts of the island lie within the Phillip Island Important Bird Area, so identified by BirdLife International because of its importance in supporting significant populations of fairy penguins, short-tailed shearwaters and Pacific gulls. In addition, there is a wildlife park where wallabies and kangaroos roam freely amongst the visitors and can be fed by hand. Seal Rocks, at the western end of the island, hosts the largest colony of fur seals in Australia (up to 16,000). In recent years, other than local population of critically endangered endemic Burrunan dolphins or migratory killer whales, southern right whales and humpback whales are starting to show recoveries in the area long after commercial and illegal hunts by the Soviet Union with the help of Japan in 1970s, and the numbers using the area as nursery are growing rapidly, allowing a rise in hopes to establish commercial whale watching activities in the vicinity of the island.

But the real highlight of the place is the penguin parade. Every evening, a bunch of ~1000 penguins waddle up from the deep blue ocean, into their burrows on the island. They have been continusly studied since the sixties, so by now, they are used to being stared at. Again, they can’t be watched from close quarters, due to it being in the evening, and because the burrow area is restricted to visitors. It is amazing how the staff have taken care not to disturb these gentle creatures in any way, opting to let them enjoy life in the wide open.

We also went trekking to Pinnacles, its a 2 hour return hike at the southern most tip of the island. Blue, pristine waters. High in the air on the cliffs. The feeling cannot be easily explained.

Again, the way these sites have been preserved it astonishing. Auzzies really know mother nature, and have steps in place to preservce ancient sites like these. And visitors happily comply. Most of the hiking areas and beaches are free, and see millions of tourists annually. But there was no litter to be seen on the beach. Neither in the water. With only a few sign boards asking visitors to keep the place clean, they have managed to enforce a cleanliness lockdown.

 

Happy to have moved here. And there are still more places to explore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A May Wedding

 

I just returned from India. From a wedding. And now I can personally assure you, May is not the best month to attend a wedding in India. What with the blistering heat and melting humidity.

But having said that, it was a day to remember. Only problem is, so much was happening, in so few days. It all seems like a blur.

The family has grown. And I hope this new , bigger family stays strong. For a long , long time.